« Good discipline leads to success in school and the ability to make friends. »
Coordinator:
Kristell Le Martret
Collaborators:
Isabelle Vinet (CPEQ) and Michel Boivin
Copy editors:
Sandra Braun and Lana Crossman
Translation:
Donna Riley
Graphic design:
DesJardins Conception Graphique inc.
How much is enough?
Published online November 18, 2010 (Rev. ed.)
What do we know?
- A loving attitude, clear rules and following through with limits will encourage the development of positive behaviours in your child.
- When parents behave in this way, their child is encouraged to explore his environment while respecting certain limits.
- An enthusiastic parent who gives his child the opportunity to do fun things and be successful will give him confidence and will encourage him to explore his environment.
- Respecting their child’s personality, parents should be kind and firm in their discipline, so that their child will follow instructions and learn cooperative behaviour.
- Children who are too tightly controlled will have trouble making decisions and expressing their needs.
- On the other hand, children who are allowed to do anything they want will have trouble knowing what is acceptable and what isn’t.
- Good discipline leads to success in school and the ability to make friends.
- When parents build respect for rules in their child’s early years, he is less likely to develop behaviour problems.
- If parents don’t provide enough supervision (aren’t involved in the child’s activities, aren’t encouraging), and react with punishments, temper outbursts or rigidity, there is greater risk that their child will have behaviour problems.
- Discipline that helps your child understand what is acceptable and what isn’t helps him develop social skills, empathy, self-control and the ability to pay attention and plan ahead.
- Discipline is what you do everyday – it is about teaching and guidance, not punishment.
| paying attention to... |
what can be done? |
| …behaviours in your child that should be discouraged. |
- Establish clear rules.
- State what will happen if the rules are not respected.
- Be kind and firm when you follow through.
- If you want to discourage your child's behaviour, ignore it. But act if he is being aggressive or disrespectful.
- Remove the source of conflict or take time to calm down. For example, take away an object that is a source of conflict between 2 children or ask the child to withdraw to a quiet place where he can calm down.
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| …behaviours in your child that should be encouraged. |
- Say what your child does well.
- Congratulate your child using both words and actions. For example, express your pride, give hugs, smiles, winks, etc.
- Help your child to see the connections between what he does and the successful outcome.
- Encourage your child to continue.
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| …situations that might lead your child to lose control. |
- Support your child by offering enjoyable ways to calm down. For example, change activities, breathe calmly, distract or redirect the child attention, etc.
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Information
The Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development identifies and summarizes
the best scientific work on the social and emotional development of young children.
It disseminates this knowledge to a variety of audiences in formats and languages
adapted to their needs.
For a more in-depth understanding of discipline, consult our experts’
(aggression/parenting skills) articles in the Encyclopedia on Early Childhood
Development, available free of charge at: www.child-encyclopedia.com.
This information sheet is published by the Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood
Development, one of four Centres of Excellence for Children’s Well-Being. Funding
for the Centres of Excellence is provided by the Public Health Agency of Canada.
The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the authors/researchers and
do not necessarily reflect the official views of the Public Health Agency of Canada.
We are grateful to the Fondation Lucie et André Chagnon for its financial
contribution to produce this information sheet.
Centre of Excellence for Early Childhood Development
GRIP-Université de Montréal
P.O. Box 6128, Succursale Centre-ville
Montreal (Quebec) H3C 3J7
Telephone: 514.343.6111, extension 2576
Fax: 514.343.6962
E-mail: cedje-ceecd@umontreal.ca
Website: www.excellence-earlychildhood.ca
In this document, the masculine form is used to simplify the text. No discrimination is intended.